If you find yourself dreaming about old friends (or even old flings), there may be a reason, so feel free to use your subconscious to justify you’re reaching out. Sometimes, all it takes to rekindle a friendship is a message that is simple and straight to the point. It’s always nice to check in with people, even if you don’t talk every day. Consider sending this text as a way to make sure they’re hanging in there.
“It shows you were thinking of them and care about their well-being,” Schiff says. Here’s another option that takes ownership while also offering a potential catch-up date. As Manly says, “It may appeal to those who are more easygoing www.laura-date.com and relaxed about timeframes.” You know, like those friends you only see twice a year but somehow pick up right where you left off. For closer friends, it might feel right to dive directly back in with a random text and pick back up where you left off.
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Texting something like “Why haven’t you reached out to me? ” points fingers and puts the other person on the defensive. Myers says it will have a disarming effect, which will help set the other person at ease.
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People often enjoy talking about future plans, and it gives them a chance to share something they’re looking forward to. A simple, light question that gives the other person room to share their interests or habits. This shifts the focus to hobbies or personal interests and invites the other person to share something about themselves.
Your mindset is what’s important, Franco tells Bustle. “I think often people don’t reach out because they think this other person has moved on, they think ‘they don’t care about me,’” she says. Instead, she’s a proponent for optimism — assume they will be ecstatic to hear from you. “That’s the sort of mindset that’s really going to help you move forward and reach out to this person,” she says. It’s nerve-wracking, but therapist Jennifer Vandegriff, LCSW, says you shouldn’t let awkwardness, pride, nerves, or even guilt stop you from texting an old friend and seeing what’s up.
Starting your message with an apology is always encouraged, because it’s an honest and sincere way to acknowledge the past while simultaneously laying the foundation for the future. If you’re dealing with a bad texter, consider meeting them on their territory and proposing a catch up over the phone. Recognizing an accomplishment is always a good way in with an old friend, especially if they used to vent about their job to you over dinner back in the day. You know when you see a TikTok that so perfectly expresses an inside joke or someone’s sense of humor? “This is a great ice breaker and no-pressure way to reconnect and laugh with someone,” therapist Tiffany Roe, MA, CMHC tells Bustle. To do one better, send along a picture of the two of you together, like that cute one you have from graduation.
The good news is, breaking that awkward moment doesn’t have to be complicated. An easy way to break the ice after a long period of no communication is to ask about a recent trip, as it demonstrates a genuine interest in the other person’s life. Sometimes folks spring to mind during very specific times, like when your guitar string breaks and you immediately think of that one friend who happens to be the best at restringing guitars.
- Respect your Partner’s Feelings and preserve his/her individual choice and prerogative.
- This is a good choice for long lost co-workers, old high school friends, or even an ex.
- They try to speak up, but by that point, it’s often too late.
- Psychology does not suggest that people revisit old conversations because they are emotionally weak or incapable of moving forward.
Feel free to use a person’s social media activity as an excuse to reach out, as they will likely appreciate that you’re still keeping up with their life from afar. If you’d like to rekindle a friendship, counselor Candice Conroy, MA, LMHC, suggests being clear about your desire to catch up. Hopefully it’ll open the door to more texts, a phone call, or maybe even a coffee date.
This sparks curiosity about new experiences, and the other person might have some great input or stories. Bringing up something you know they care about shifts the focus and gives them a chance to share an update. Shifting the attention back to them shows interest in their life and encourages them to open up, which helps break the silence. A playful question like this gets the other person thinking about recent events and brings fresh energy to the chat.
Compliments make people feel good and appreciated, and it shifts the focus back to something positive. Giving a compliment is another easy way to move past the silence. It could be something simple, like complimenting their outfit, hairstyle, or something they recently shared with you.
Answering those questions (on your own or, preferably, in conversation with a mental health provider or loved one) can help you decide how to manage the silent treatment. Because the silent treatment can happen for many reasons — and can be motivated by different goals — it can impact you in a variety of ways. Many people experience frustration (or even anger) that their emotional needs aren’t being met.